VodkaMusings

I keep hoping that its one of those character traits that I’ll mature out of.  One of those things that will ease with time.

It’s no secret that I dont do well with relationships…husbands, boyfriends, friends, the checkout girl.  One of the ways I tend to screw up dating relatioships is that all of a sudden I totally lose interest.  It’s happened again.  This time with the guy I’ve posted about recently.

I liked him, we talked well, we had fun, the sex was great.  But then it happened.  It’s been days and I still cant figure out what precisely it was.  We had been hanging out for a couple of hours.  Had a great time, fun conversation, hot sex.  Then we were laying on the bed both looking up at the ceiling laughing and joking and I rolled onto my side to look at him and in mid sentence realized I wasnt into him anymore.  Just like that.  No warning, no deal breakers, not even a hint.  Just done.

I kind of hope that next time I see him he will charm me and it will have just been a weird thing and all will go back to normal, but since this has happened before I’m thinking it’s probably done.

Oh well….next.

I thrive on being spontaneous.  Much more than the average person, that I’m aware of anyway.  I dont do well with plans, because then I have too much time to think about it and over analyze it and generally back out.  I’ve actually lost many friends over this.

Today was a totally spontaneous day from the word go.  The alarm clock went off telling me it was time for a run.  I turned it off, completely.  Slept in to an embarrassing time.  Then decided to go hiking….no plan, no map, no nothing.  Which is normally totally against my very few rules which involve hiking.  I’ve read too many serial killer books to go hiking without a plan and a map at a minimum.  When I got home, I still wasnt good so I decided to go see a movie.  I rushed around to get ready for the movie and got there just as it started.  I hate missing the trailers btw.

Then I STILL didnt want to go home.  So I decide to go get a beer.  Thing is, in the town I’m in you dont just go walking into a bar alone.  So I decided I would go to a restaurant, sit at the bar, have a couple of beers and go home.  As luck would have it one of my FWB’s car was in the parking lot of where I was initially going to go.  So I went next door and texted him….luck shined on me and he was doing the same thing I was.  So we met at the bar, then went to see a movie and ended up going back to his apartment.  It both is and isnt as torrid as it seems.  I really enjoy hanging out with him, and I feel pretty confident he really enjoys hanging out with me.  And somehow the sexy times are always  worked into the right moment.

I’ve had relationships like this where one person would always screw up the timing in the evening of when things would happen….too early, too late, too FAST, whatever…but nearly always awkward.  With him, its not awkward.  Theres real conversations…philosophical ones, funny ones, debates about which office is better (UK or US)….serious stuff!  And then there is the sweet release.  I cant think of an awkward moment the entire time I’ve known him.

It’s nice.  It’s comfortable.  It may be the absolute polar opposite of what every friend says I need at this point in my life…..but it sure is nice.